When I Saw Those Two Pink Lines

The day I found out I was pregnant was filled with happy tears, bliss, and visions of baby booties and rattles, dancing in my head. Although I would love to say that that was true, it was the exact opposite. The moment I found out I was pregnant, I threw up just for the fact of being pregnant. Now, I'm sure this sounds like I am an awful person that never wanted children, but that is so not sure. I have always, always wanted children. In fact, my dad told Michael one day, 'I hope you know her ultimate goal in life is to be a mom and stay home with them for at least a while.'

Why was the news so shocking? The night before I found out, Michael and I had had a long discussion about when we would start to try for a baby. I wonder if just wanted to do the 'trying' part! If you have been reading my blog, you know that his hours at work were absolutely ludicrous and I didn't want to raise the baby on my own. A little dramatic yes, but that's me. I also wanted to travel more, enjoy our time together, live life as a married couple. We had only been married one month! My plan was to wait a year and then give it a go. Michael would have been happy if I walked down the aisle busting out of my dress. He wanted me barefoot and pregnant. So that night, we got in a huge argument about it. Whether it was about timing, money, his hours, him working for the Gestapo, we argued. But how can you ever actually, really and truly, plan for a baby. No one can ever be fully prepared.

Well, the very next morning, I just didn't feel right. I didn't feel ill, I felt different. Since I am allergic to birth control, I am always paranoid and keep stock of pregnancy tests in my house. (Yes, I am that person!) So I took a test, expecting it to be negative as usual. I'm waiting, and getting ready for work at the same time, not thinking much of it. But to my surprise, it was done with those two little pink lines. Wait! I should only have one!!!!! One line!!!! I ran over to the bed where Michael was still sleeping and threw the test down on the pillow. Yelling I said, 'We NEED to talk.' He just pops up out of bed, huge smile on his face, and said, 'Is this really happening?' Yes, dear. This is really happening. At 6am, he ran to the drug store to go buy me 5 more tests to be on the safe side. They were positive!

About a week later, my denial and shock escaped me and I was in baby blissdom! The happiest time. I loved being pregnant, of course except for some normal discomforts, pains, etc. But it was a wonderful time for me. Planning our new life together, experiencing something new. I even loved going to the doctor and getting to hear the little heartbeat. I looked forward to that every week.

I love that little monkey face! He has my heart!