Yoga Tantrum

Just when I thought that Davis' tantrums couldn't possibly get more interesting, I present to you the YOGA TANTRUM. This consists of Davis starting out in push up position on the floor, then bringing his legs up in the air. We finish out in an up air, downward dog, against the wall or cabinet, whatever is behind him. This is very serious stuff. Yoga tantrums are not to be made fun of. So if you experience one, do not laugh. They are practiced in temples by the master Yogi's. While I am very impressed with Davis' mad skills, I am wondering if I can have him become a Yogi himself. At least these tantrums will make me some dough.

Have a great weekend, everyone

Baby Boarding School?

I can't begin to describe the copious amounts of stress I am under right now, that I actually feel like I'm going to break. To add the cherry on top, Davis is none other than a awful, very bad, no good, terrible two year old. Is there a cure for this? Can we hypnotize him? Baby Prozac? Something? Anything? Being around a two year old is like living with someone that is bipolar. One minute, he totally loves me, and the next, he's in the midst of the 100th tantrum. By the way, it's only 9am at this point. (Right now, he's kicking the walls. I just want to fill you in on every aspect right now. Found a cure, yet?)

Take this morning for example. I had finally made it to the gym on time for the first day this week, for a class. (It's been one of those weeks with Davis) To help him with the transition of everything that has been going on, he is beyond attached to his Pooh Bear right now. While this is very cute, it makes things difficult when we are out in public. I was letting him bring the bear into the kids area the first few days, to help him get used to being in there. I noticed that when he has the bear, he wasn't wanting to play with anyone or anything else in there, so I cut that off. Today he decided to show me how upset he was about this. I was talking to someone outside of the kids area, and she was saying how cute Davis is. Ha! If only you knew lady. Cute on the outside, flames on the inside. Out of left field, SMACK! Right across my face. I was so in shock that I had no clue what to do. Put him in time out in the middle of the gym? I didn't feel like making an even bigger scene than we already had. I told him no, had a talk with him, and still didn't know what to do. I'm sure some of you are thinking that I should have spanked him. Me wanting to spank Davis is crossing my mind more and more as the minutes go on. But we don't spank. I have my reasons, but that's another discussion. All I wanted to do was go to the sauna and just cry. I feel defeated. Defeated by a tiny two year old. I'm at a loss and am praying that I can figure out something to do with this child before things get worse. Please say they get better!

Seemingly overnight, my son has transformed from a kid we could take anywhere—WOULD take anywhere thanks to his perfect restaurant behavior—into a child that can’t handle sitting in a shopping cart for five minutes while in Target because all he wants to do is squirm and run around and knock things over.


It’s a tough stage. It’s a stage that makes you doubt yourself as a parent. It pushes you far beyond your patience limit and then back again. It’s a stage where one parent is pitted against the other at times, just desperately trying to find a way to make it through our cheeseburgers on a Friday night out in public.

Time-outs work pretty well, but my husband and I are still frazzled and on-edge after a particularly difficult tantrum session. But, thankfully, we’ve found a way to cope—we laugh. We joke that living with our son is like living with a very tiny, very loud, very destructive drunk person–emotionally unstable, extreme mood swings, wobbly gait, copious amounts of drool, liquids spilled on the carpet and a predilection for running around naked. It’s like living with a college student.

So, here’s hoping that this challenging stage passes soon—although it’s sort of the-devil-you-know-versus-the-devil-you-don’t. Because I’ll probably look back at this post later on in life, after he’s totaled our car or something similar, and wish time-outs still worked.

But, I’d love to hear any other suggestions or comments—even if it’s just to express shared misery!

And remember, you may want to share something fast, or googling baby boarding school is in my near future.

It's Moving Time...Again.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, then you know we JUST moved. And when I saw just moved, I mean we moved in to our current house in January. I'm pretty sure there are boxes still in the attic that we have yet to unpack. We had been in East Texas for several years, but our whole goal was to be back in the Dallas area. Of course, I have been elated being back here. My friends and family are here so it is wonderful being close to them again. But seeing as how life throws you the fastest curve balls, especially when you aren't ready to catch them, you just have to get that mitt on fast and throw it back. I haven't exactly thrown it back yet. I think I'm still processing this information like I just found out about it yesterday.

So, why are we moving, you ask? Well, since you are dying to know, I guess I'll tell you. Last year, Michael went to Tulsa to fill in for someone while they were out of town for two weeks. Davis and I went to visit Michael for a few days to hang out. I actually thought Tulsa was very nice! We went to the zoo, the aquarium, and other fun family places while we were there. So, while I thought it was nice, I never in a million years thought we would be moving there. Yes, Tulsa is where we are moving to. That same company called and offered a deal that we are obviously not able to turn down. So now the transition begins. And so do the stresses.

(This was on a bathroom door I saw on the way back to Texas. Seriously? I will send you smoke signals and you can come save me.)

Michael started his new job last week, and while he was working, I went for the week to help him look for apartments. UGGG!! Having to get an apartment while having a mortgage is just a tad overwhelming. If someone has any miracle grow for my money tree, I would really appreciate it. We found an apartment last week that we started to fill out the paper work on. I thought everything was peachy, but apparently not. I think I have become a victim of identity theft. I was flagged for being incarcerated for theft and auto theft in 2009. Come on, I may be a little wild, but I'm no clepto! Lord, help me. So while that is being handled, I am crossing my fingers that it is all settled. Oh, I was also born in 1968. I look damn good, don't I? Sheesh.

The sign was put in the yard just yesterday, and we had our first showing today. Wow!! I am crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes that we are able to sell this sucker soon. Looking for a house in the area??

While I know things will be better in the long run, things are just overly stressful right now. Davis wakes up and is always looking for Michael, confused as to where he has been. I also think he believes he is being punished because I have to keep all of his toys in the garage for when people view the house. His sad little face when he looks outside to see if Michael's car is there makes me want to cry. His tantrums that he has been throwing to show me how upset he is, is making me want to scream. The added stress is a lot! Serenity now, Davis!

And when this child throws a tantrum, he throws a tantrum. All DAY! But go figure he's an absolute angel when he's with others. Why is that? Riddle me this.

So, for now, I'm trying to stay calm and am praying Davis' baby horns stay in.

Happy Baby? Gone!

It seems as if we are entering the terrible two phase, without yet being at the two's. How in the world did this happen so soon? And what I would like to know, is what demon force decided to take over my sweet little man? As soon as I wake Davis up in the morning, I proceed with caution. I creep over to his crib with a huge smile on my face, hoping for the best, but ready for the worst. Sometimes, I am lucky however, and get the overly excited, jumping baby who is so thrilled to see me. Almost as if a sigh of relief that I didn't forget to get him out of his crib. Then there are the other mornings. You creep in, and the turn for the worst happens. Terror screams. Sounds so loud, you wonder how a little thing so small can make such a loud boisterous noise. At this point, you brace yourself knowing this is the start to an awesome day.

These my friend, are the roller coaster days. Talk about wishing there was a manual that came into play. Can I please look up the chapter for erratic and uncontrollable behavior for a 21 month old, please? Lately, I have also begun to call Davis, 'bipolar baby.' I think that a Sunday morning comic named this would be perfect. One minute we are playing, rolling the ball back and forth, big smiles. And then SCREAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!! What in the? What happened? I have recently implemented time out and some times this works, sometimes it seems pointless. When situations arise where there is absoutely nothing I can do to please this child, I have to other choice then to say, 'work it out buddy.' That's my way of saying I am going to attempt to ignore you right now. Let me know when you are done with your tantrum. I keep having people tell me that the three's are the worst and I wonder how anything can be worse than this? The-I'm so mad at you I'm going to throw my food across the room, after I smack in the face, then give you a kiss because I know I messed up, the scream on the floor phase?

Let the good times roll, people. This is when I say the serenity prayer....a lot. And of course a little wine doesn't hurt, either.

Can I Throw In The White Flag?

I know you've been there. You've had those days. Yes, THOSE DAYS! Where it is only about 9 am and you are already praying and wishing for the day to be over. Your perfect little angel has sprouted horns that have fire flaming off the tips. What? Just mine? No, no. I'm not fooled. You're a mom. You've been there. 10am comes and is ever so slowly inching it's way to...10:01. You sit and wonder why? Or, I am never having children again! Can it please be, 'take your screaming baby to work' tomorrow so mama can have a break? Of all jobs in the world, this job should have a hot line! Seriously! Someone (besides your husband, because Lord knows they usually get the short end of the stick, a lot) that you can call and scream at. Just pick up the phone and yell something random like, "Come pick up this screaming child that is flinging himself all over the carpet and making me want to scream in a pillow." Thank you. And then hang up. Okay, that felt a little better now. Now back to wailing child whose face is now fire engine red.

Ahhh...yes. Those days. What would motherhood be without them. A lot less stressful and a whole heck of a lot quieter that's for sure. Something was implanted in these children's brains saying, "Once all is calm and quiet, keep your mom on her toes. She loves to play guessing games. Show her how strong your pipes are and scream away. It's not like she has good hearing or anything!" If only I could invent a screaming translator, I'd be golden!

Motherhood is so like playing a guessing game and will forever keep me on my toes. Just when I get used to one thing, something else new pops up and says, 'HEY THERE!' But don't you worry. I have my shield, armor, my gear on and I'm ready to play this round. Game on!!

No, no. I wasn't really going to throw in the towel on motherhood. Just a figure of speech. The majority of the time, Davis is great. And when Davis is bad, well like I've said before, he can be a demon spawn. Then I go look at that sweet little angelic face (while he's sleeping) and wonder how in the world I ever got mad or upset with him. You know how it is. In the morning, you wake up, ready to battle another day. Laying in bed you wonder if you are going to awake the demon, or the angel. Either way, you have your gear on just in case!