It seems like so long ago and also, just like it was yesterday, that we celebrated Davis' first birthday. And yes, I know, time flies when you have a baby. I couldn't help but look through pictures the other day of him and wonder what happened to that tiny little new born. Already? It wasn't supposed to happen this fast. Davis has never been the one to want to cuddle. It has always been me trying to force him to cuddle. That never seems to work out in my favor. I usually get smacked in the face, or he just tries to jump off my lap super fast. So instead, I attempt to carry him around the house like a tiny baby, while Michael and Davis both give me looks like I am a crazy person. I can't help it! My little baby isn't a baby and I'm grasping on to what I have left of him being little. At this rate, he'll be in college in the blink of an eye! I am still saying that I am scared to have anymore children. Maybe I am being selfish, who knows. I have been told I am being a brat, that I am selfish, I am only thinking about myself, and how dare I not allow Davis the chance to have any siblings. I never said that I was NEVER having anymore, just not now. Davis is at the age where a lot of people start trying to have their second child, while I am embracing my alone time with my husband. The thought of starting over, sleepless nights, and constant crying has me wanting to pull my hair out. Not to mention the tedious breastfeeding and never ending pumping to add in. So yes, maybe I am being a little selfish right now. I have given myself until Davis is two years old before we start trying again. And I am using every day to my advantage right now. He still sleeps amazing and I can count on his nap times and at night for some solitude. I know most people say you are never actually ready to have children, and believe me, I know. I was thrown into shock when I found out I was pregnant, but it has been a blessing ever since.
My whole life I have always wanted to be a mom. I have always known it. I have always had thoughts of being the mom that had after school snack waiting, was around for field trips, car pool, recitals, practices, and homework. Now, I don't want to be June Cleaver or anything with a little white picket fence, but since I'm going to be staying at home, I want to do it all! And besides, I have decided not to wear my pearls while cooking dinner anymore. I want Davis to experience a great amount of one on one time with me, as well as taking him to a Mother's Day Out and learning with other kids. The same goes for our next child. Even though I have so many years to come, I already think about disciplining when the age comes for drinking, drugs, driving, etc. Why do I already think about that now? I was hell on wheels and Michael was no angel either. People say you are twice as bad as your parents, so that means that Davis may be in juvenile by the time he's hits preschool. (Kidding people. We were never in jail!)
What is my point with all of my rambling? I am so happy right now. I am so proud of my family and love being with them. Michael and Davis are my life and mean the world to me. I am just not quite there yet to add another limb on our family tree. I do realize that it works well for many people, just not us personally. Maybe I should have just had twins and gotten two out of the way! :)