Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Keep It To Yourself?

This morning I got an email with the subject asking how much do I post on my blog. It got me thinking that I don't always post what I want to post and write about. Lord only knows if I did, there would be some very unhappy people. But then I question myself wondering if I don't write it here, where would I write it? I know I read some people's blogs and they let it all out. The fights with siblings, parents, husbands, the dog...whoever. Then there are other blogs where they decide to not so much as post a picture of the family members. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I write enough to get me by, but really wish I had an anonymous blog at times whre I could let it all out. Maybe I would call it Mommy's Flask. Just kidding.

However, it does really bother me though that I can't be candid in fear of what others will think or how they will respond. Like I have written and said many times before, some people in my family aren't the most open and honest with each other. Or if you do say how you feel the defense wall just gets put up and I wonder why I say anything. Instead there is a smile on the face and act like all is okay. Although in my world, life doesn't work like that and never will. This seems to be sufficient for others as things are dust under the rug.

As Davis is getting older, I want us to have an open and honest parent/child relation with each other. Obviously that is easier said than done, but I know that Michael and I will do our best to have him know that we are here for him. I don't want him going through life holding battle scars and being almost 30 and have them still hurt him. Since my wounds are still healing, I hold my head high and do my best not to let them get me down. These things will always be hard, but chin up, right?
So in a round about way after reading that question, this was my long winded answer. I vent, but I don't. I let it all out, but I keep it in. I want to share, but I tell tid bits. I am still hurt, but can't change a person, only myself.


kisatrtle said...

I think I do the same thing. I often wish my blog was private. Sometimes I think I could really have a good vent, but alas I only share a little bit of what I'm really thinking and maybe that is best for all of us.

Stephanie said...

I can definitely relate! I am the same way -- mainly because I also have some relatives who read and have commented if something wasn't to their liking. So, I share, but am careful not to over-share so as to help keep the peace! Davis is so cute, by the way. Love his beautiful eyes!

sara said...

ditto. it's such a fine line and I often wonder how well i'm walking it.

Nikki said...

I think there comes a point where you need to start doing things for yourself and do things that make YOU happy! If you want to vent then vent, if you want to share then let it all out!! We are all here to listen and support and those who want to criticize and get pissy don't need to read...no one is forcing them!r

Nessa said...

Some family and a co-worker of my husands (how she found me I have no idea?!) read my blog. It has caused me to change or omit things on occasion. But - I think I am more "real life" on the blog than I would be in a photo album or scrap book so I take it.

heidi @ wonder woman wannabe said...

I really try to maintain boundaries in my blogging. While I know readers would probably really relate to many of my experiences and reflections about circumstances about my extended family and/or friends - it's really not my place to air their *stuff* in such a public way.

I usually try to immagine either my MIL or pastor reading the words I write because it IS possible that one day either or both could come accross it.

I don't think it makes you any less authentic in your blogging if you filter in this way - just share things from *your* perspective and how it challenges you in some way.

thanks for visiting on my SITS day.