This morning I got an email with the subject asking how much do I post on my blog. It got me thinking that I don't always post what I want to post and write about. Lord only knows if I did, there would be some very unhappy people. But then I question myself wondering if I don't write it here, where would I write it? I know I read some people's blogs and they let it all out. The fights with siblings, parents, husbands, the dog...whoever. Then there are other blogs where they decide to not so much as post a picture of the family members. I guess I fall somewhere in the middle. I write enough to get me by, but really wish I had an anonymous blog at times whre I could let it all out. Maybe I would call it Mommy's Flask. Just kidding.
However, it does really bother me though that I can't be candid in fear of what others will think or how they will respond. Like I have written and said many times before, some people in my family aren't the most open and honest with each other. Or if you do say how you feel the defense wall just gets put up and I wonder why I say anything. Instead there is a smile on the face and act like all is okay. Although in my world, life doesn't work like that and never will. This seems to be sufficient for others as things are dust under the rug.
As Davis is getting older, I want us to have an open and honest parent/child relation with each other. Obviously that is easier said than done, but I know that Michael and I will do our best to have him know that we are here for him. I don't want him going through life holding battle scars and being almost 30 and have them still hurt him. Since my wounds are still healing, I hold my head high and do my best not to let them get me down. These things will always be hard, but chin up, right?
So in a round about way after reading that question, this was my long winded answer. I vent, but I don't. I let it all out, but I keep it in. I want to share, but I tell tid bits. I am still hurt, but can't change a person, only myself.