ABC's Of Parenting

Always, and I repeat always, proceed with caution. Is this going to be a good day, or a bad. Don't just assume!

Bankie. Davis can NOT sleep without it. Even after trying to replace it and it's funkiness, he is too smart for us.

Chalk will be eaten, crayons will melt. Candle, anyone?

Dog food is a toddler delicacy

Eating in peace and actually enjoying a real meal is now considered a luxury. Wearing their food is now more the norm. What is even more fun is when you are learning what hair and head is!

Frantic screams. Whether they are coming from Davis or myself, they both happen.

Gagging is allowed, especially after a really nasty diaper change or if you are cleaning up vomit

Hide everything. I couldn't find my shoes last week and found them under the bathroom sink. That's normal...right?!?

Intelligence declines with parenthood. You may have all the answers for your friends and family as far as parenting is concerned, but when it comes to your own kids, clueless is a better description. This is normal.

Jolt. The movement you make when your son screams in the middle of the night. Why? Only to find out he, himself, threw his blanket out of the crib.

Karma. I am suffering from it due to when I was younger.

Luck. Sometimes you just gotta wing it and pray for the best!

Motherhood includes being a nurse, a psychologist, a maid, a cook, a seamstress, a cop, and most of all a saint. After this journey you will have adequate experience to pursue the career of your dreams, that is if you actually have the energy and motivation to do so.

Neverending. You know that day that seems to have 48 hours in it but just pray for it to be over? It won't stop, it keeps going, going, going....

Outdoor activities are a sure bet when it comes to tiring out your kids. However, it has the same effect on you, so be careful. You are getting older you know!

Prepared. ALWAYS be prepared. Nothing worse when you leave the house only to realize you didn't pack the diaper bag and you are now faced with an explosive mess!

Queen…once you decided to have children you gave this title up, however you will be reinstated once you become a grandmother. You will have definitely earned it back!

Rancid smells!! Possibilities could include sour milk that has been left in the car...in the middle of summer, a dirty diaper that you have also found next to it, the dog ate an entire clove of garlic and is hacking up in the dining room, you left a load of laundry in the machine and have to start all over.

Sanity. If you find mine, please let me know.

This too shall pass

Understand that you will never be a perfect parent, a perfect person, but if the kids are alive at the end of day, I understand you deserve a glass of wine!

Veggies. These are now commonly shared with Dexter. Good times

Waste nothing! I was trying to do crafts with Davis on our snow day, but have no craft supplies. I am hoarding paper towel rolls, foil, paper. You know, the usual.

Xylophones as gifts for kids should be illegal. Spare your nerves and your hearing, if your child receives one as a gift promptly hide it and re-gift it. Yes, tacky I know, but you will thank me.

Yelling in my closet happens on occasion and I always pray the neighbors can't hear me.

Z oo. A mini zoo is our house at times but I wouldn't trade it for the world!!