Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out

I have never participated in this before, but have written the same post in my head over and over. I figured it was about time to just go ahead and do it. If it makes some people upset or a little worried, I'm not worried about it and it's my blog. Hey, pour your heart out, right!?!

If any of you are like me and you love the shows 'Brothers and Sisters' and/or 'Parenthood' then you know that these families are extremely close. Maybe at times a little too close and you're thinking to yourself, shut up! But hey, they are family and at least they talk. Now I don't want my family to be completely all up in my business, but I do like having them around. Most of the time! But they know what is going on with each other, why they are upset, new things happening in their life. They say things with honesty even if it is going to hurt someones feelings. HONESTY.

My family isn't all that close. My immediate family, yes, but extended family, I forget that I have any sometimes. So, this is what kills me. As many of you know, my son Davis is now 9 months old. I think that's a good amount of time to pick up the phone and write an email saying congrats or anything. I have a certain family member that hasn't so much as picked up the phone and called me, written me an email, facebooked me, nothing. What is worse, is they have a house in the same city that I live in and haven't bothered to contact me. Hence the whole, my family is not close, bit. I hate it and it sucks. I don't know what the deal is. Does no one care to remain/stay/try and be close? I always wanted my children to have a large, close knit family and it's not looking that way. I have only one cousin that I am in contact with and that's it. It just makes me sad. It's very disheartening to me. I honestly think now at this point, if I was contacted, it would be because someone told them to and I wouldn't have much to say. I am pretty much at this point over it. I don't mean over it in the sense that it doesn't hurt, I mean over it. Why worry about having a relationship with someone that doesn't want one. I wash my hands of it.

Family issue #2. Be honest. I hate when people try and tip toe around issues in fear of what someone is going to say. A lot of times, family members don't tell me things, or wait until later to tell me something (which I always know anyway) for fear of what I will say. I never say anything to try and hurt someones feelings. I am honest with you and say these things because I care about you. If I didn't care, I would keep my mouth shut and nod my head. What good would that do anybody? I wish more people had this same mentality. Just tell it like it is. If someone doesn't like it, who cares. If they get mad, at least you know how they felt about the situation.

I absolutely love and adore my family and couldn't ask for a better relationship with them. We all have a pretty close knit bond which amazes and I would do anything for any of them. My sisters are my life line, and my parents and both tremendous for support. But what family would be a family without a little drama? :)


Davney said...

LOVE 'Parenthood'!

I have a similar relationship with my extended family. I'm very close with my parents & siblings, but most of my aunts/cousins; ugh. Family drama.

Mama Hen said...

I just found your blog! Very cute! I have just recently started to get to know my extended family and I am so happy that I am doing that. They are wonderful! Family is very important to me. Hey, you got a new follower! Come visit Mama's Little Chick.

Mama Hen

Mama Hen said...

P.S. I agree about the "honesty" part. Very important!

Mama Hen

Anonymous said...

I agree with you. Honesty is the best policy. I hate tip-toeing around and being nervous about what someone may think. I also long to have closer family relationships. Mostly within my immediate family. We are close but not as close as we should be.
Great post!
Visiting via Shells blog :)

*LLUVIA* said...

I'm right there with ya on honesty. I had a close knit extended family. But when I married a black guy, all that went downhill. Now, I'd like for them to disappear and don't care for them. Sounds horrible, but I'd rather not have Emma grow up among those people.
My father's side of the family on the other hand, a lot more open-minded and educated.

They all live in Texas, California, or Arizona, so they are still kind of far.

Danielle said...

Honesty is always good in a family. I have the same similar issue with my SIL. She has never once asks, talked, etc. about my daughter. Now that she is pregnant she wants me to plan her a shower etc. I like you, have washed my hands of it.

Tabatha said...

new follower.. from PYHO. come by mine if you get a chance!

I understand your post completely!

Barely Domestic Mama said...

That stinks about your extended family, but at least your immediate family is awesome. My best friend has this same problem only she is an only child. She went ahead and created her extended family with friends who want to be a part of her life. It works for her. I have a huge family. We're Puerto Rican and up in everyone's business too much of the time, but it is all out of love.

I think honesty is definitely important in any and all relationships.

Traci said...

I'm the same way with my extended family, though in my case it is primarily geographical. (And I LOVE the show Parenthood, by the way, and am SOoooo glad I don't have a family like that--all in my business :)

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Oh wow, do we need to be friends or what??? I am so there with you. I was so annoyed with the lack of closeness in my immediate family that lived a scant 20 minutes away I picked up and moved my family 3000 miles to be closer to my in-laws! Not only that, I too don't get told things because I voice my honest opinion. Sorry, would it be better if I lie to you?

I found you on Shell's pour your heart out. So glad I did! I'm your newest follower!

Lots of yummy love,
Alex aka Ma, What's For Dinner

Daisygirl said...

Hi are you me??? seriously I am reading this and nodding my head...yep get that, been there! Wow! I have a family sucks mentality at the moment but there are even people in my immediate family that aren't even close to me which sucks.

I have to keep telling myself that if they wanted a relationship they would pursue one and its there loss because you and I are fabulous!

Great post girl! ♥

Just Another Mom of 2 said...

Family always does seem to come with drama, doesn't it?? It is just amazing. The honesty thing is something way too many relatives struggle with and inevitably leads to some misunderstanding or another. I'm sorry you have to deal with family drama (though glad it's at least with extended instead of immediate!)

LisaDay said...

I love my large family and it's great for my son who won't have siblings of his own age (he has a sister who is 20 but it's not the same as having a sister who is two).

However, it goes both ways. If you think this is important than maybe you need to make the moves to make it happen.

However saying that, I can't believe you never got an email or call to say congrats. That's just rude. And strange. Who doesn't want to see a new baby?


Hello! I'm Kate. said...

Ah family! Don't get me started! I'm one of 17 grandkids, Lboy is the 12th of 14 great-grandkids, I'm the oldest of 5 kids...we're huge! I talk to each one of my sibilings everyday & the extended family sees each other a lot. But how do I explain the relationship? I can say whatever I want about them, they drive me nuts but the minute another person not in the family says something bad about them-well it's on!

Todd has friends that have never called, facebooked, texted, emailed to meet Lboy to wish congratulations--nothing! Todd is an only child, so these guys are/were like his brothers. One was a groomsmen in our wedding! So I know exactly how you feel!

Sorry about that! And sorry that this was such a long comment!