Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Mom, Fail!

Last week, I had the pleasure of driving alone with my very well behaved two year old, and my 80 pound dog that never cries when he wants attention. It was four hours of singing, laughing, and having a grand ole time. I would look back at Davis and think, 'Golly, gee! This is swell. I can get used to this!'


I'm sure that you can put two and two together to realize what went on for FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT! Davis used to love car rides and would actually take his naps quite well on road trips. But seeing as how he has turned into a crazy child, he wanted to really let me know how he felt about being strapped down for so long. From the moment we set foot into the car, blood curdling screams came out of his tiny little body. How can something so small, make noises so insanely large? A two year old is really hard to rationalize with. Well, because it is beyond impossible! You can't turn around and say, 'Now sweet pea, mommy is sitting quietly for four hours also. See? I'm strapped to my chair, as well. Now carry on like a good prince you are.' That's when a truck would probably have been hurled at my head. Again!

By the time that we were back in the Dallas metroplex, I think steam was coming out of my ears, and my head was about to explode. And awww crap, it's now dinner time. Cooking something for us was the last thing that I wanted to do. Especially since we took all of our food to Tulsa and this now entailed actually doing some grocery shopping. Yes, yes. I could have ordered a pizza, but it would have taken way too long. Grocery store it was. I was on the hunt for some pre-made sandwiches, or something already put together. I saw notta!! Honestly, the thought of buying some lunchables seriously crossed my mind. While they would have sufficed for me, I couldn't bring myself to feed my son crackers for dinner. So, I threw them in the cart anyway just in case for lunch tomorrow. Lunch is totally different than dinner....of course! So the next best thing to buy was frozen dinners. I can not tell you the last time I bought a frozen dinner! Literally, has been years. Grab some chicken and pasta mess and figured we are good to go. But wait, Davis will be going down to bed soon and I would really love a glass of wine and to unwind. Oh, maybe I should get some beer, too. So, I grab a pack of beer and a bottle of wine, and I head to the front. At this point, I was so exhausted that I had forgotten that Michael will be out of town, and that's who I was buying the beer for. Since Davis was starting to get antsy, I let him out of the buggy and he was helping me push. I'm chit chatting away on my phone, while he's pushing like a big boy. I then look in my buggy, and think, wow! Frozen dinner, lunchables, beer, and wine. This does not look good. This ensemble looks like something a bachelor would have thrown into the cart. Not a mom trying to get dinner ready for her son. So, I'm feeling pretty awesome at this point.

We are almost to the front of the line, and BAM! Davis smashes his fingers in between the cart and the conveyor belt. Oh, no! I hang up the phone to go get Davis and console him. WHAM! As I'm picking up my already screaming child, I ram his head into the grocery cart. Needless to say, Davis is now in hysterics. Which brings more attention to the very decent, and healthy meal that I have planned for us for dinner.

Of course when we get home, all is well...as well as well can be. I feed Davis his gourmet chicken and pasta and he's off to bed. I have my....whatever that frozen mess was....and I sip happily in the silence that I was waiting for.

I now laugh at this experience. Although at the time, did not find it funny, but rather embarrassing. But hey, I'm only human. As for Davis, his gut wrenching screams have his species yet to be determined.


Anonymous said...

I hate car rides... with or without kids.... take me away on a plane...it's much faster....

Impulsive Addict said...

OMG. I am DYING over this post! I'm not usually one to laugh at people's posts (unless they are) but I am LAUGHING!!! Could anything else have gone wrong?? HOLY GEEZ! This is some funny stuff. And I'm only laughing because I have been there. We drive to Ft. Worth on occasion and I have the same situation. It's not fun!

Thanks for linking up with us!! =)

Shawn said...

I had one angelic daughter in the car and one well...not so much. I so feel your pain!

Every Mom has been there done that and we all understand. So glad you were able to enjoy that glass, or bottle-who's keeping track, if wine!

Thanks for linking up!

Mommy's Sippy Cup said...

Thanks for stopping by today, ladies!!

Yeah, now it's funny. Then...so not funny! Whew. Hoping the back and forth will be over soon :)

Shell said...

What a day, girl!

missy. said...

i think that sounds like a very well planned out dinner.. especially the wine and beer. i would have applauded you and then did a rock it fist pump with you.

sorry to hear about the blood curdling screams.. just wait till he is 5/6 and STILL doing them.. my best friends little kids, OMG. i could kill them sometimes.

Date Girl said...

oh man that sounds like a rough night. Don't feel bad, we all have to have a quick meal now and then. I bet that wine was amazing after that kind of a day!

Heidi said...

I've got a lil guy with a set of lungs as well, girl. I've been there. ;) Thank goodness for early bedtimes, right?