Thursday, August 5, 2010

I'll Take A Padded Room For One, Please

Where to begin? Where to begin? That is the question. Right now I am trying to keep my head above water, and sucking in a little nasty salty water as I go along. Of course, overall, my life is great. And of course there are a few little bumps in the road. While I am in the middle of (still) experiencing them, they do not seem like mere bumps, but more like huge boulders

My career with Stella & Dot is going so great right now, that I think that is one thing that is helping me avoid swallowing the nasty salt water. I am in love with this job and am having so much fun! Yes, that's right. Fun while working! Since I am working right now, and only part time at that, it is making things a tad bit challenging around the house. No, not with my marriage, but with Davis. Does anyone know if there is such thing as 'Baby Boot Camp?' Anyone? No...oh, too young. Next month, maybe. So here we are again, starting over I feel with his good ole dreaded separation anxiety. This child is crazy! I set him down, he cries. I move across the room, he cries. I leave the room, we have entered a different playing field. You would think I have just beaten him. Screams of terror, gasps for breath, big fat tears are rolling down the chubby little cheeks. I don't think Davis could possibly get any more dramatic than this. (Please don't insert negative comment. That was my attempt at the glass is half full bit!) He is now going through this thing where he wants me to constantly pick him up or him tugging at me trying to get my attention. Oh yes, Davis. Trust me, everyone on our street knows you want my attention! Do I run to him and pick him up? No. He has me so stressed that I am mentally exhausted. Whew! I know, I know. Just when you get used to one thing, something new arises. I have that tattooed on my brain as many times as I have heard that lately. But that doesn't help me. I feel alone and helpless in this situation. I am now on Serenity Now Part 100,000,000! I am trying to be positive and tell myself that Davis is a healthy, for the most part happy baby and that loves me. A lot.

At the beginning of this week, though, I had a nice, wonderful break. I went to my monthly Stella & Dot meeting that was held in Shreveport, La, which isn't far from me at all. The meeting was great and I learned so much as well as met so many wonderful people. I love that the majority of these women are in the same shoes as me. Around the time that the meeting was coming to an end, someone asked me if I was going to make the trip back home. I answered that I think I am going to take this opportunity and get a hotel. You could give me a secluded padded room right now and I wouldn't complain. And that's just what I did. Not the padded room, the hotel. Alone with no noise. Just me, the TV, and was able to catch up on some work. Sheer bliss! Ready to get up and face the day again of incessant screaming! It was the much needed break that I was looking for. Can I do that weekly, please?


Maegan said...

hang in there. the whole seperation thing is totally normal. mine was terrible about it for a while. then once he started walking as long as i was somewhere he could walk to me, we were golden. it will pass. i promise.

and good for you for taking the night to yourself! that is awesome!

Alana, Author of Domestically Challenged said...

Been there, done that. Sounds like you are doing great dealing with it. Getting time for yourself is the best way to recharge.

Hang in there! :)

Daisygirl said...

Can I join you in that padded cell???? My kids are driving me bonkers!

He is a drama baby huh? I have one of those, he is 2! Its so hard and you just want to plug your ears and drink...well that is just me anyway! haha!

so happy you are loving your job that is so fabulous!!!!

Sherri said...

Ugh, you are really going through a hard time with him right now! When you are smack-dab in the middle of it, it feels like it will never end....but there's another phase just around the corner, and this too will pass.

Glad you did the hotel, you deserved it!!

Heather said...

Ugh! I know that feeling all too well. We were in a rough patch for a little while too. Nothing broke my heart more than Babygirl tearing up BEFORE I even took her into daycare. If that wasn't bad enough, she had to scream as I was leaving. What a great way to start the morning! It'll get better. Until then, bring your sippy cup to your padded rooms! ;o)

Asashia said...

I wonder what it'll be like when Little Bit starts daycare next week? Mind you, I work full-time so he's used to me leaving but this is a whole new world. For the both of us!
You can do it! After all, it shows how great you are just rejuvenating yourself so you can be an awesome mommy!

Jessica @ Barefoot by the Sea said...

It's all about the balance, keeping the mommy guilt in check, loving your life and your job, etc.

Let me know if you find a magic potion to make it all work (I'm still working on it!) In the meantime, at least we have our blogs and friends to lend support! Isn't it nice to have a group who can relate to what you are going through?!

Jenn@the loves of jenn said...

So sorry you are dealing with that right now. Hopefully, it will be short-lived and you can get your sanity back. Glad you got to take a break for yourself. We all need that every once in a while. Hang in there!

Kenzeys Mommy said...

Oh, I am soo not looking forward to that phase. My only is complaint is napping, I swear someone switches my lil angel with a screaming monster when comes to sleeping during the day. Congrats with the job and taking a well deserved night off.